the MS Walk of Greater Springfield is 24 days away. this will be Team Flash's 5th consecutive appearance. donations letters, e-mails, & messages have been sent out by myself & the Team. on paper, we are a third of the way towards our goal, although i am confident we will exceed it.
i'm finding unexpected generosity in people, a kindness that brings tears to my eyes. i am reminded to be grateful, in the grips of fleeting self-doubt.
i can't help but reflect on the last five years & the impact MS has had on my life. five friggin years?!?!?!?! WOWZA. no doubt the disease has changed me- good, bad, & indifferent. it has brought amazing people into my life and has strengthened pre-existing relationships. it has challenged me, both physically & emotionally. it has brought my strength to the surface. it has forced me to continuing living in the day, as i know not what tomorrow will bring.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
It's been a long time......
holy crap, batman. where has the time gone?????
as with most things, i have great intentions. my follow through, however... not so much.
it appears this blog became invisible to me over the last year. the symbolism is frightening. invisibility has proven to be both my angel & my devil. it battles me at the core of my very existence. if you can't see it, it's not really there. if i don't verbalize it, it remains hidden. i teeter between these two things in an attempt to strike some sort of balance. i could flick the switch and turn it off, pretending the monster inside me is not eating away at my myelin sheath. i could wait until it's visible before describing what it's like to live in my skin. or i could turn the switch on and shed some light in a sometimes dark place.
today i would like to turn the light on. perhaps the wintry weather has set the stage for self-reflection, but that is neither here nor there.
i am silently "diseased". not in the mental health kind of way. although i am certain that is subject to interpretation. i make reference medically. in the MS-is-trying-to-kick-my-ass-and-you-don't-know-it-if-i-don't-tell-you kind of way. i look good. that's just one of the demons of the disease. poison is streaming through my bloodstream as i sit here and write. but you can't see that either. i ate solid food yesterday & i didn't need an anti-nausea medication to aid me in the endeavor. these two things made it to my gratitude list last night. i take these moments when i can. to ground me. to bring me back to simplicity.
i have no urgency to vent today. i am exactly where i am meant to be at this moment.
MS continues to teach me the true meaning of powerlessness. but i'm still makin' it my b*tch.
The End.
as with most things, i have great intentions. my follow through, however... not so much.
it appears this blog became invisible to me over the last year. the symbolism is frightening. invisibility has proven to be both my angel & my devil. it battles me at the core of my very existence. if you can't see it, it's not really there. if i don't verbalize it, it remains hidden. i teeter between these two things in an attempt to strike some sort of balance. i could flick the switch and turn it off, pretending the monster inside me is not eating away at my myelin sheath. i could wait until it's visible before describing what it's like to live in my skin. or i could turn the switch on and shed some light in a sometimes dark place.
today i would like to turn the light on. perhaps the wintry weather has set the stage for self-reflection, but that is neither here nor there.
i am silently "diseased". not in the mental health kind of way. although i am certain that is subject to interpretation. i make reference medically. in the MS-is-trying-to-kick-my-ass-and-you-don't-know-it-if-i-don't-tell-you kind of way. i look good. that's just one of the demons of the disease. poison is streaming through my bloodstream as i sit here and write. but you can't see that either. i ate solid food yesterday & i didn't need an anti-nausea medication to aid me in the endeavor. these two things made it to my gratitude list last night. i take these moments when i can. to ground me. to bring me back to simplicity.
i have no urgency to vent today. i am exactly where i am meant to be at this moment.
MS continues to teach me the true meaning of powerlessness. but i'm still makin' it my b*tch.
The End.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)